Unlike my friends who attend four a week, I do not consider myself a wedding goer. Ever since I returned to Kuwait in January, I went to a total of two weddings and that is a high, at least for me. Throughout my life, I went to traditional, women’s-only Kuwaiti weddings. I noticed that time does not change the ever-present characters in this sumptuous occasions, starting with the 72-year-old who accidentally fell asleep on the comfortable couch as scantily clad women dance before her to the deafening music to the bride’s two-year-old nephew who is carried against his will into the splendidly lit hall. But who else remains?
1- Golden Girls: I divide Kuwaiti Golden Girls into two categories: the happy-go-lucky, light-hearted women who clap their hands humbly as they encourage their granddaughters to dance a little bit more and the crabby and stiff ones who eye others’ exposed cleavage before giving them a disapproving and judgmental glare. Whenever I look at the Golden Girls who are either wrapped up in their abbaya or perched on the edge of their seat with arched and alert eyebrows, I think to myself, “What will I be like at their age?”
2- The Strippers: I am amazed at how daintily some women can dance, especially belly dancing which, I think, is extremely hard to master in terms of coordination and overall harmony starting with foot movements and ending with arm and fingertip motions. A handful of young women dance to every other song, and as my friend once said, a few do it to get noticed by a possible suitor’s mother i.e. “My my, she can dance really well. I bet she will be a great mother to my only son’s future children.” However, I have noticed that this implicit dance has turned into a hardcore attempt of desperation to get hitched. During the last wedding I attended, one lithe girl with a head full of black hair would only bounce up from her seat when an Egyptian song blares through the hall’s speakers. Because not a lot of women are skilled in the art of belly dancing, the dance floor was almost bare when tunes in that specific genre would start to play. The only people dancing along to the Egyptian song was the 15-year-old girl who shyly shook her baby fat as her chubby mother urged her to continue, the 50-something blonde who blinded the crowd with a glamorous smile while she awkwardly knocked her pelvis back and forth, and the charming 30-something year old woman, the best dancer of the group, who gracefully floated in the corner as she danced in an almost balletic manner. Tthe black-haired young girl coquettishly shook the little junk she had as she made it to the center of the long aisle. With her elbows at her waist and her limp hands hanging flimsily by her shoulders, she began to slowly rotate her hips to the song’s beat. As the song’s pace quickened, she managed to move her hips faster and faster while fluffing and shaking her already puffy hair. She would occasionally look at the crowd while her tongue visibly glided over her teeth before she pressed it hard against her inner cheek. By now, some audience members could be seen with amused expressions as they turned to their left and right, “Who’s that girl up there? What’s her name?” The black-haired mystery would shockingly silence the crowd by suddenly dropping to the floor before springing back up again. Personally, I do not see the harm in dancing about to get noticed by future mother-in-laws, but getting down and dirty is a whole other matter. What are you promising, an earthshaking sex life?
3- Kiddies: I love seeing children’s varied reactions to weddings. Some of them adore the spotlight. You usually see them – usually little girls – posing in their pseudo-Cinderella outfit before the camera’s flash. Others become seriously overwhelmed by the noise and the mass of strange faces staring at them; they just stand there looking as dumbfounded as ever. However, I’m surprised at how others children are at ease and behave like their normal selves. As they stood with the rest of the family behind the bride and groom’s decorated seating area, I noticed a young boy’s mother smacking his hand away due to his index finger being halfway up his nose. And I know it is mean, but I think it is adorable when an infant starts to cry and squirm in his/her mother’s arms when they are semi-forced to stick around until it is their turn to take a picture with the married couple.
I know I missed some people. Care to share?
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